I am the one who plans all the parties and celebrations. I am certain that mothers are the party planners in most families. Once I had children, I was in charge of celebrations in my own home and I took over for my own mother as well – planning both my parents’ birthday parties and any other family get-togethers like easter, christmas, thanksgiving. You name it, I’ve planned for it. I love making lists and dreaming about what it will be like, right down to the last detail.
Lately I just don’t feel like baking cakes, and decorating the room and fussing over all the details. It is beginning to feel like obligation instead of fun. I think it is just time for me to take a break.
So, for Lianne’s birthday celebration yesterday we did everything completely different. I made reservations at a restaurant and I ordered an ice cream cake instead of making one. Phew. At first I felt guilty. Then I smiled to myself and let it all go. I felt tremendous relief. I could enjoy myself too, instead of playing the hostess. And it really was such fun. I’m not saying that I will never bake a cake again or plan celebrations. No, no, no. But it will be because I want to and not because I am obligated to. My heart will be in it next time. And the love will shine through.
Just like it did yesterday.